I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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