help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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