isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
