Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize