I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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