Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
