If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
