i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
