What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
