she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
bring money and cleavage
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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