I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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