There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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