she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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