I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
