we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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