She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
