Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
