As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
