I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
