i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize