I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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