you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize