Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
