Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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