I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
