They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
