3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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