Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
