it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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