She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
