I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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