Pappa wants mamma naked
he thought i was a dude.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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