Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
