I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
soo... how was my night?
Randomize