So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
