She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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