I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize