So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
