Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize