Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
