if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My ass is underappreciated
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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