sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
