I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
