you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
