So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
