Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
