I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
