I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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