I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
