I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
