So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
