im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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