ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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