He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
