I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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