Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm passing your future prison.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
