the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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