we're making bets on your personal life
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
