I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
